truth about elevators
Posted at 05:22 PM

many of us have ridden elevators. if not on a regular basis, at least now and then. recently i have joined the ranks of those for whom elevators are an essential part of getting one from place to place. in this span of time, i have discovered there is a zen to elevators as can be discerned in the following truths.

1. Elevators will return. You do not have to run in panic to catch one. Do not be afraid that you may have missed your last chance. It will return. It is in its nature.

2. Elevators do not have accelerators. No matter how often you press the button to summon one, it is incapable of hurry. Stop trying.

3. Elevator doors cannot care less if you are in a hurry. Stop harrassing it by pressing the "door open" or "door close" button repeatedly. If the door is closing, it's closing; if it's opening, it's opening - at the speed of its own choosing. You cannot alter its behavior. Stop trying.

4. Elevators do not forget. If you press your floor button once, you don't have to press it again. The elevator will not unpress it just to spite you. Although if you keep on uselessly pressing its other buttons it just might.