everything in moderation
Posted at 09:16 PM

i used to think i was a workaholic. now i'm not so sure...

i figure if i were a workaholic, then the more work i have, the more i thrive. it's true that if i have too little to do then my tendency is to just lie around doing nothing. no vitality. but now i'm starting to realize that if i have too much to do, then i also lie around and do nothing. hmmm

i lie down for a while and run through my list - which right now looks like this: 50 reports to check, 22 narratives to read and comment on, 1 midterm exam to formulate (which will soon enough translate to 22 midterm exams to check), 1 battle of the bands to get going, 40 pages worth of essay to write, 1 training and review center to get off the ground (which entails a lot of marketing, materials preps, scheduling, etc) and, well, the day to day things of teaching which include the actual teaching itself.

so i go through this and decide: what the heck, i'm going to lie around and do nothing.

then some little voice in my head goes, "hmmm. this doesn't seem to be working, the list isn't getting shorter.

now what?"

(an attempt at) a personal philosophy of teaching
Posted at 05:53 PM

there's a strange rumor going around that i'm about to leave the teaching profession. now how did those come about?

i know i said i'd go on leave next schoolyear - primarily because i need to finish my dratted degree. but then a step back wouldn't hurt.

once, years ago, somebody told me that i had no future as a writer. to this day i wonder what purpose that person was trying to serve - to make sure i'd never write again?

while this person wasn't a teacher, she was still somebody in a position of authority over me, the same way a teacher holds a position of authority over the students. and it makes me think... if a teacher doesn't stand there and encourage and inspire, then what good is that? what good am i?

we shouldn't just be spewing out facts, we should be building skills. we shouldn't just be making sure they can get a decent job when they graduate, we should show them the way to take the future into their hands and make a difference.

if we aren't, well, then maybe we should rethink our vocation.

lately i've found myself losing my cool with my classes. or worse, not caring about certain things that go wrong. i guess being loaded with 9 more units than the regular can do that. but it's no excuse.

i believe in teaching. i believe in it so much that in my eyes it has to be done with fire, with passion; or not at all.

maybe those rumors started with some cosmic whisperings. maybe they're right. maybe i should go... if only to find it all again.

let's get ready to rumble
Posted at 12:07 PM

tomorrow, feb 11. first round of the Rumble, a high school battle of the bands. brought to you by Workaholics Anonymous and Pulp Magazine. with live performances by Matilda and Kiko Machine.

bands from Ateneo, La Salle Greenhills, La Concordia, Claret, and Quezon City Science High.

i'm excited to see this. if you're not doing anything do drop by at Mayrics, Espana for the Rumble.
[img:537271]

passing
Posted at 07:13 PM

it's raining.
i love the smell of the rain.

more than anything it's the rain that signals to me the passing of time. somehow i measure the years not with the arrival of the first of january, but with the rains.

and there's something nostalgic about the whole experience of the first whiff of rain.

i remember how many years have actually passed. karlo wrote something about our high school days. wow, we've been friends, what, 21, 22 years? (yeah, since we were 3. hahaha.) i remember the kind of kid i was. she's still around somewhere. i remember her when it rains.

in many respects my life now is better than i thought it would ever be. a whole and healthy family, great friends, the chance to write, the chance to teach. show production (ahhhh!)

and so many things i thought i'd achieve but didn't - and never will.

it's like a montage. one that gets longer with each rain. the breadth and depth of a life, still in the making, flitting through the drops.

rock
Posted at 05:10 PM

the first thing i thought when i entered Mayrics for the first time in 10 years or so was, "dang, i'm getting old."

it had the bar smell. thick layers of cigarette residue clinging to the walls. it had the usual menu or greasy bar food: liempo, sisig, breaded squid... within 2 minutes i had to step out for a breath of air. and since outside was Espana, well, rock and a hard place.

but this is Mayrics. it's not some shiny new thing in Greenbelt or Libis where people in slacks and heels go. it's Mayrics - the last of the grand dames of Pinoy rock bars. this is where bands like the Eraserheads and Color it Red grew up and where the newer generation - Parokya, Sandwich, Sugar Free - cut its teeth.

last night i watched Kiko Machine and Matilda play. man, these bands are something to watch. definitely must-catch.

and i was there to listen to 6 high school bands compete. some were surprisingly good. some were... not so good. but all had rock in their blood. all had an original composition to play, something to say.

as i sat there nursing a beer and trying to keep my head from bursting from the cigarette fumes; watching the pro bands horse around, watching the new bands nervously clutch their guitars; listening to the screech of the electric guitar and the beating of the drums, i was taken by the sureness that rock will go on. the music is alive. and that, is a marvelous thing.

musical sticks
Posted at 08:59 PM

(yeah, masaya 'to dez fun tag! would've passed it to you but, well, that's where it came from. haha)

Random 10

1. Bad, U2
2. Phantom of the Opera, Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford
3. That Val Sotto song by Kiko Machine
4. How do you solve a problem like Maria...?
5. the Overture from Jesus Christ Superstar (my, aren't we in musical theater mode?)
6. Crucify, Tori Amos
7. Tuwing Umuulan, Regine Velasquez (yes, yes, i know. don't rub it in. and the e-heads one is also cool. actually that's the one that's cool and the regine one is just cheesy.)
8. Steppin' Out, Joe Jackson (something had to come from that era)
9. No Rain, Blind Melon
10. Honestly, Annie Lennox
(Seven Nation Army was the one that made me go why didn't i think of that? i love that song)

What is the total amount of music in your PC?
1.62 gigs. haha, i really looked. parang konti. hmmm. but yeah, i delete if i don't listen to it often. OC. hahaha.

The last CD that you bought?
yike, can't remember. EP ng Matilda most likely

The last song you listened to before this message?
We Have Forgotten by Sixpence

5 songs you listen to a lot and mean a lot to you

1. No Umbrella, Cynthia Alexander - the lyrics... well, I don't relate to them. really. hehe. but something about that song. resonating melody. which is why it's what i chose when i was offered a solo as a gift for my birthday.

2. Both Sides Now, Joni Mitchell - if my life were made into a movie, sa end credits 'to. as in.

3. 40, U2 - more prayer than song

4. The Space Between, Dave Matthews Band - dunno. just like it. one of those things. i was thinking that if i ever get around to learning how to play the drums, i just want to learn this song and that's it. that should be enough to make me look accomplished

5. Worlds Apart, Jars of Clay - this one just engulfs.

(all the Abandon songs should go into this list. but i haven't listened to any of them since the show... but by gaw, from oct to dec i don't think i was listening to anything else! hahaha. they're a category unto themselves )

Who are the 3 people you're going to pass this stick to?

1. Stefanie - should be a, um, loopy mix
2. Karlo - someone from my generation. hahaha
3. Biankee Doodle and Cornflake Girl - would be fun to see what they'll answer

i need a higher paying job
Posted at 09:49 AM

this. i want this. yesssss, i wantssssss it.
[img:542398]

sigh. but at its current price it falls into the sphere of improbability.

somebody said, "you gotta choose. that or your bangkok/cambodia trip."

well, no contest there. Angkor Wat here i come! whee!

already looking out for a backpack for that. and the trip is in october. hahaha

excited.

hmmm. i wonder how much the treo 650 will be in bangkok.

i'd like you to meet...
Posted at 03:24 PM

this post started from a request: "sulat mo 'to sa blog mo, para hindi na ako magsusulat..." and so i shall...

was on the phone with joanna last night and we were talking about this guy. "hey," i said, "what if he'll be batman in superstar?" (translation - what if he'll be the one who'll give you flowers at the end of the show?)

"pakshet," she said. "i smiled." pause. then she goes. "teka lang ha, i'll just go laugh at myself." which she proceeds to do for a full three minutes.

and while we're on the topic, i should mention a few other things that happened and she'd say "sulat mo yan sa blog mo..."

like trying to figure out what lies ahead in her love life by playing a lengthy series of solitaire games. although the last series was played around 3 weeks ago, it ran for a whole week. and the result was that the object of affection would be a dog. so i guess there goes the validity of that.

like sleeping on command. i timed it. from the announcement of "i'll sleep muna" to the actual dozing off - 45 seconds.

hmmm, ok. that covers the things i promised would go into the blog.

actually there a bajillion more things really to write - but, well, takes a more deft hand than mine to bring certain things to life

musicality
Posted at 06:45 PM

i've spent most of the weekend listening to bands. from somewhat bad ones to pretty good ones, to really great ones.

and i must say that i have finally discovered the worst band of all time.

i heard them play at the MCHS family day. while i am sorely tempted to reveal their name here, i feel it best to preserve their identity on the really off chance they get to read this and don't know that they are the worst band of all time.

i mean i guess they don't know how much they stink otherwise why would they dare go up on stage?

at their best they're monotone and out of synch. when they're not monotone, they're out of tune and out of synch.

there was only one consolation hearing them last night.

they actually make me sound good

food trip
Posted at 12:18 PM

yesterday, for the first time, i had hot monay for merienda. for P10, got a nice chunk of really dense monay with a slice of cheese. it's part of the P10 festival that happens everyday on campus.

P10 can get you either:
monay with cheese, taho, bananacue (3 bananas), kamote cue, carioca, lumpia, turon (2 pieces), a really mealy doughnut with or without monggo filling, cheese corn, 20 pieces of fishballs... and others

there are more expensive meals to be had. like P12 can get you a cup of arroz caldo. add P3 for a hard-boiled egg.

lunch or dinner can cost from P25 to P35 in the aristocart stands, around P35-P50 in Lutong Bahay.

in other words, P100 can get you through 4 meals in a day.

hay UP. the typical student may get mugged or beaten up on campus... but at least, they'll never go hungry.

some days it's just so much fun to be in the car
Posted at 09:26 AM

while heading out to katipunan from U.P. yesterday, was eating bananacue while driving.

"dude, can you shift to 3rd gear?"
"ayoko nga! do you want us to die?"
"di naman nakakamatay ang shifting to 3rd gear ah."
"basta!"

hump, so went back to 1st gear.

"ok, you have to shift to 2nd gear."
"how?"
"madali lang yan, just push the thing down."
"like this?"
"yah! you did it!"
"yey!"
"ok, now you have to shift to 3rd. just push up and a bit to the right."
"ok."
"ok, ready? now!"
"ack! ayaw! ok there! no wait! that's to the left!"
"that's 1st!"
"ACK!"
"ok, you have to back to 2nd!"
"where's that again?"
"down."
"there?"
"no that's 4th."
"ACKKKKK! WE'RE GOING TO DIE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

a few production lessons
Posted at 03:01 PM

from the firedance, top 5 production lessons

5. it can't be easy to keep on banging on huge drums for a whole evening, especially if you have to hop around enthusiastically in the process.

4. women in thongs and a really buff partially naked man will make any production look good.

3. avoid extended and seemingly senseless soup-eating scenes

2. avoid extended and seemingly senseless bathing scenes - unless such scene will culminate with the main bather being set on fire.

and the number production lesson i learned is:

never dress up a male member of the cast in a headdress, a thong and knee-high leather boots.

(but it was a good show... especially with the partially naked, extremely buff guy. hehe)