a hallmark moment
Posted at 11:21 AM

to a remarkable artist and a great friend.

happy birthday

48 hours
Posted at 08:06 AM

close to midnight last night i finally finished the intro to the supernatural book. i typed the first sentence on thursday so 48 hours ain't bad. unless of course one considers that i've been wanting to get it done for about a month now. just took me this long to gestate and get things down on paper.

but this time i was determined to get it done. well, maybe desperate is the better word. i had to finish something.

well, was able to finish reading a novel (disordered minds by minette walters. she's a crime fiction writer but heavy into the psychology and forensics part so her books are a lot of fun) - but that wasn't on my 'to do' list so that doesn't alter the stuff i have to do. was able to write 3 paragraphs for an essay for school but that only brings my total up to 1,400 words, still have 2,100 to go.

had a 48-hour break because of the storm. would've thought i'd be more productive over that period but nooooo...

what i did manage to do though was settle on what kind of back-up phone i'd get for my sun sim. now that took a lot of time and dedication - reading reviews, looking at phone sites, getting user feedback, finding a good source... and then i also settled on what bag to get since now i'd have to be carrying a whole bunch of things with me, i don't think i'd have enough pockets.

maybe because it's have such a thing for toys, or pushing buttons, or maybe i'm just a geek really - but when it comes to gadgets i can actually manage to focus. and because my e.q. is not all that good (ok fine, it's the pits) i've been wanting to fiddle with that phone since yesterday.

at least by finishing that intro i can convince myself that i've put in a good 2 days worth of work and am now allowed to reward myself

hmmmm
Posted at 03:25 PM

from the website workopolis.com:

The seven-year itch is known to cause folks to have a mysterious urge to leave their jobs and their marriages or move across the country. We tend to experience cycles of discontent every five to 10 years with the average cycle happening every 7 1/2 years.

To find out if you're going through a transition stage, answer yes or no to the following:

1. I rarely feel restless.
2. I'm happily involved in my work.
3. I feel very productive and creative.
4. I don't think I'm going through a transition.
5. I thoroughly enjoy my lifestyle.
6. I rarely think of quitting my job or taking early retirement.
7. My job provides me with an opportunity to develop personally.
8. My position will allow me to reach my career goals.
9. I'm rarely bored with my position.
10. I'm very satisfied with the way things are in my life.
11. I have a clear sense of purpose.
12. I've experienced at least one traumatic event (such as loss of a loved one or illness) in the past year.
13.I've been doing quite a bit of self-assessment lately.

If you answered Yes to 10 or more questions, you're probably happily involved in your work and in the entry or mastery stage of your career cycle. You may also be in a developmental stage of your career cycle.

If you answered Yes six to nine times, you may be in the late mastery stage of your life cycle. If you answered Yes to fewer than six questions, you seem to be disengaged from your work and in a transition stage.

Contemporary career development is a continuing quest to improve the fit between your career and your evolving personality. It's never too late to establish your own rhythm of change.

tougher than it looks
Posted at 07:11 PM

you know those movies, coyote ugly, cocktail. you know, the ones with really good looking bartenders who, at the end of the night, still look as good?

fiction. fiction i tell you. fiction

was on my feet five hours last night and dang, i'm still tired. i could barely keep up with the orders. there were about 4 of us manning the bar and we were reduced to running for ice, calling out orders, mixing, opening bottles, and making change the whole night. looking good in the process was completely out of the question.

we opened bar at 6. by 10 we were out of beer. all 15 cases of it. by 10:15 we were out of vodka. by 10:30 we were out of rum. by 10:45 we were out of energy. by 11 we were out of patience and decided to close bar. the only thing we could serve anyway by that time were tequila shots and gin straight up. but people went for them anyway.

it was a really interesting sociological study - from what i could make out in the few minutes i could glance up to see what was going on. social drinkers would glance at the menu, ask for the drink they wanted, and if it wasn't available, they'd leave. the dedicated drinkers ordered anything we had as long as it kept the buzz going.

it was also an interesting physiological study. by my 4th hour of mixing drinks my hands were losing strength. i couldn't pour straight. then i noticed that i had a lot of little cuts in my hands - that didn't have anything to do with the bartending actually, but i only noticed them when i had to mop some spilled rum from the table. youch! (it's still tough to drive actually. unless it's an automatic. hehe. that will be the subject of another post.)

but it was a lot of fun. and there's a special feeling when you're (well, the three of us bartenders) the only one sober in a venue full of drunk people. a lot better than being the only drunk one in a room full of sober people. hehe

another conversation snippet
Posted at 11:19 PM

a transcription of a conversation coming out of a mall in makati.

me: do we turn left?
joanna: yup.
me: ok.
joanna: wait, why did i say yup? i'm not sure.
me: well, we're here, too late.
(turns and sees the pasig river.)
me: wait! where in heck are we? that's the river!
joanna: what river?
me: the pasig river.
joanna: we're in pasig?
me (after two beats): um, no.

one week to go
Posted at 01:09 PM

somebody asked if i feel the stress of the show. the answer is no, i don't feel it - but it's starting to show i guess. people are starting to remark that i look sleepless. maybe that has something to do with the fact that i've been getting up at 5:30 (completely against my will) and almost immediately my mind goes to the details that have to be worked out, people to contact, etc.

i've got a nagging word problem i have to solve before the week ends: if the stage is 20X30 feet and i have an allowance of 3 feet all around, and a cut of linoleum is 6 feet wide, price per yard length, what is the minimum number of sheets of linoleum i need to get to cover the stage?

i had a nightmare last night: it was raining on the 21st. hard.

but then i get up, the sun shines, i go on with my day. i get messages about practice status, equipment rental. i look at the poster. i listen to the music. i watch the dances. it all looks so great.

it's ironic. putting in a lot of time and effort (and money) into something and the goal is to make the process disappear. the whole thing should look like it wasn't put together. but that, i always felt, is the mark of a good production - something that doesn't look produced.

it's all about the experience of it. conjuring a moment.

i anticipate that favorite moment of mine, right before the show starts, when everything is set up but all is still. i think about people i don't know coming to watch (and hopefully liking) what we've been working so hard at since june. i think about the music and how the whole thing is going to look and sound. and i can't help it, i smile and am suffused with this sense of wellbeing.

dang, it's going to be a good show

the case of the missing gas cap
Posted at 06:24 PM

the facts of the case:

1. the needle of my gas gauge was at about 0.1 inches above empty. nothing was lighting up, but it was obvious i needed more gas. so i pulled into the shell station in katipunan and asked for P200 worth of unleaded fuel.

2. i stopped paying attention after i asked for gas. i only looked up from my scrabble game when i told the attendant i would have air put in my tires, which i did. i remained in the service station for about 10 minutes more. i didn't get a receipt, they didn't offer, i i didn't ask.

3. almost as soon as i pulled out, i commented that the needle didn't seem to have moved.

4. once i got to ortigas avenue, the light started flashing. i was out of gas. i pulled up at the nearest station (caltex, along julia vargas) mightily bewildered. the gas attendant, as soon as he opened the tank door informed me my gas cap was missing.

so joanna and i, doing our best nancy drew and george fayne impersonations (nobody wanted to be bess marvin), tried to figure the pertinent questions - which of course boiled down to: who stole the gas cap?

we went back to the katipunan station where everybody promptly denied having been there. george (who wasn't me, i was nancy) was boiling over and pretty much ready to take on the entire gas station (she would've won too i'm sure). they were trying to tell me that their people follow procedure and that they would've returned the cap - implying, it seems, that either i stole my own cap or that it was never there.

so i told the assistant supervisor - a placid looking man named nel - that either his people were thieves or completely incompetent. a statement he totally didn't understand. linguistic barriers. the tone i generally take to intimidate people was lost on him - didn't seem to get a word i said. gad.

anyway, after a long process i realized i couldn't prove they didn't put gas, so i told them (by now nel was joined by his boss jonathan, and a lady named marissa - who understood in an instant what the problem was) we'd leave to eat and that they better damn make sure they have a gas cap when we returned.

we came back and the station manager ambled towards me holding a basket of 'forgotten' caps. one of which was the exact one to fit my car. sheesh.

two days to go
Posted at 05:45 PM

i feel like a sick dog needing to eat grass.

woke up at 3am with tummy spasms but figured i'd sleep them off. no luck. at 4 i decided to go down and take an antacid - tums. didn't work (useless tums, the only thing going for them is that they come in different fruity flavors). dratted spasms kept going through the morning. but practice went well - i could see that through the pain.

we're doing good the run with the band yesterday brought out some of the best in the girls i think. the immediacy of what we're doing - and the uncommonness of it all - is starting to become clear.

so i took more pills after lunch and took a nap. got up past 4pm completely disoriented. woke up panicking, thinking i had missed a chunk of monday morning. now i have a headache and am vaguely nauseated.

so yeah, fine. i am stressed. but you should see how it's all coming together. it's magic.

i'm actually starting to feel a bit sentimental about it already. i look back at how this all started - a suggestion over a text conversation in december - and see how far we've come... it was a lot of fun putting this together. even if now, yes, i am getting sick, it's still all good

productions never last for just the night. what it brings together is something that lingers - and it lingers in the cast and crew, those putting it together, with the hope that it reaches the audience in the same way.

however things turn out on tuesday, this production will always be special

the day after
Posted at 02:48 PM

i feel this urge to go to rehearsals.

so many things happened show day. so many images in my head. but now that i sit down to write this, what is predominant in me is this urge to give thanks. and so i will.

salamat kay joanna for sharing her vision and incredible talent and for working so very hard on this. it was so much fun working with you as a co-producer (and director, and choreographer, and dancer) - through all the conversations the cereal killers couldn't get, we got it done

thanks to bianca, my chief muftlet, and the other cereal killers: bea, clara, nans, pau, and vicka (again, in the order you appear in my phone book. hehe). for giving so much this show, for DANCING. i haven't seen this much from you girls before.

thanks to up dharma down and high beam for so readily agreeing to do this and putting up with my nagging. (of course now studyante ko si armi so her putting up with my nagging goes on). the enthusiasm we all felt from you was great

the people who make up the nebulous and ragtag group known as workaholics anonymous. thanks for another show. sa susunod sherie who was backstage taking care of the video and calling up lighting suggestions, stefanie who was sick but took care of tickets, ninna who was also ill but still gave full throttle from tourniquet to stage work, jordan whom i pulled from his peaceful place on the curb to do some announcing, and ram who presented himself willing to run whatever had to be done, jorem for the great poster design and beautiful photos.

thanks to billy and meryl who run the mmr recording studio in xavierville for the band equipment. for letting us have the drum set and amps for two rehearsal days over and above show day.

thanks to jovi, whose drumming on matilda's 'let go' still has me floored, for her extreme generosity in lending us the lcd projector. we literally had to force her to accept money as she was so firmly insisting she lend it for nothing.

thanks to voltaire, kristine, ohm (i don't know if i have that spelled right), from the u.p. theater council for clocking in those hours setting up the stage, backstage, screen...

thanks to mag and the store with no name for supporting the show and the girls.

and thank God! for the good weather, for getting me well enough to make it to the venue at noon after spending the whole morning throwing up, for modern medicine (i was carrying around a small pharmacy all day) for the instant rudimentary knowledge of lighting (as i found myself having to do it about 15 minutes before the show started. and, never having done anything like it before in my life, i was a bit nervous), and really just for the fantastic opportunity to work on Abandon.

thanks for watching the show hope to see you at the next one

this just in: sneak peak from jorem at the spoonmachine

Posted at 01:22 PM

my contribution to the din this holiday season:








"my peace i give to you," He said.

if i sit still i'll die
Posted at 01:36 PM

went into hibernation christmas day.

on the 25th and 26th i did my best impersonation of furniture. slept so much i started to blend with the bed. i can't take it anymore.

well - not that i'm that eager to be back in class. i just have this overwhelming desire to... do something.

so i directed my attention on how to raise P600,000 this year for the next production. big production. lotsa money needed. actually i need to raise a total of P900,000 from now til september 2006, but the first 600k should all be in by this year and the other 300k really doesn't have anything to do with production. but i ramble...

vicka suggested doing the Abandon dances on the streets. there's a thought. if i'm really in dire straits vicka, don't forget you offered that and direct begging for alms should help.

then there's this original musical play by mele and kc. studied their prospectus and looks ok. if i can get a couple of schools to stage it, then about half of the 600k is done. plus one christian bautista concert and that should take care of things. hehe.

watch this blog for progress: on vicka's street performance, on the musical, on ian's show, my dream production on April of 2006. and of course, the Abandon sequel.

my production slate til december 2007 is pretty much full. *clap clap clap*

oh joy

tidbits
Posted at 11:16 AM

sloth-like living has somewhat rendered me incapable of extended composition. which is, obviously, not very good for someone who intended this season to be a writing break.

but here are a few chunks of words that wrap around a few random thoughts over the past few days:

i'm not eating in mcdonald's again. i watched 'supersize me' last night and man, the stuff is toxic! i'm in bad enough shape as it is, makes no sense to aggravate things. good thing there's no similar documentary that centers on kfc.

i want to watch a show at the La Scala in Milan. it has perfect acoustics, and as somebody who likes production work, i want to know what perfect theater acoustics sounds like. before World War II, the Dresden Opera House had better acoustics, but since that was reduced to rubble and rebuilt one just doesn't have the same magic, the world leader is now La Scala. i want. ballet preferably, but i'll live with opera. thing is, a regular show ticket costs around Eur50 (P3,750) plus the $1,500 i need to get to Milan in the first place...

it seems that as far as nature is concerned, human beings are just one of those things. the death toll from the tsunamis is now around 50,000 people. i find myself thankful that the earthquake didn't hit land. if it did, that toll would easily be in the millions. but storms, plate movements, volcanic upheavals - all part of the earth's processes that will go on regardless of our presence. with all the technology we've got we can't even predict when earthquakes will happen (the most sophisticated instruments can give an hour's or so warning. what the heck good is that?) - how can people even deign to think we can tame that which is elemental?

if ever i get to buy a car (after coughing up the Eur1,050 to get to Milan and watch a show), i want an automatic. they're a lot of fun to drive! like bump cars. of course a manual still gives you more control over your car so you can power up and screech around curves and be an overall ass on the road. but for manila traffic and fatigue, an automatic is just fine. ride and step on the gas and steer, that's it. the first time i drove an automatic was in college, back when the technology wasn't that polished yet, and i didn't like it much. the next time i drove an automatic was a month ago. i got behind the wheel of Wilbur, and my automatic obsession began. i did research and found that the technology has advanced tremendously since my college days (which, as i always say, i spent with fred and wilma flintstone). there are few things now a manual car can do that an automatic can't. heeeyyyy.

ok, now to get cracking on that begging idea...