as seen on tv
Posted at 02:02 PM

i am convinced that filipino soap operas are not just melodramatic exaggerations. i do believe a good many - the majority most likely - of filipinos live in that mode.

as i write, the neighbors (yes, my lovely neighbors) are raising a perfect howl. the woman has just caught her husband (or boyfriend or whatever) having an affair. how? through the cellphone. gad, how many illicit liaisons have been busted because one of the parties was too lazy to delete messages?

anyway, by now my entire street is aware of what's going on. the woman is (currently) screaming at the top of her voice:

"huwag mo ako ganyanin! huuuuwag mo ako ganyanin!!!" and

"nakita ko! nakita kooooo! sabi mo 'don't text muna!' nakita ko!" and

"akin na ang cellphone. AKIN NAAAAA!!!!"

is he really guilty? are they going to break up? is she going to throw him out? at the rate things are going, we should know in a bit. abangan.

why i love production part 2
Posted at 09:29 PM

sometimes there doesn't seem to be a coherent train of thought. but out of the muddle, something's created. a few conversation snippets. or how to put together a show.

"did you bring the cd?"
"what cd?"
"the cd."
"aaaAAAAHHHHH!!!"
"i take it that's a 'no' then?'

"do you have the cd?"
"yep. but we have to test it."
"why?"
"it might not be the right cd."
(by this time we were dozens of kilometers away and had it been the wrong cd, somebody would have had to sing.)

"did we miss the exit?"
"we did?!?!?!"
"no, i was just asking."
"oh. whew."

"i want noodles."
"noodles?"
"noodles."
"noodles!"
"good noodles..."

"do you want to eat piz- ow!"
"ow!"
"ow!"
"ow!"
(very bumpy downhill road.)

there's a sight too many lumps around here
Posted at 06:50 PM

my sister comes home the other day with the news that the doctor found two lumps in her uterus and another one in her breast. this as my other sister has to visit the doctor about thrice a year to monitor the growth of her lumps. this as my mother had to go through a total hysterectomy about 10 years ago to remove her lumps.

it's genetic, they say. i guess they have a point.

my mother's mother died from cancer.
my father's mother had colon cancer.
a great-aunt died from it.
three of that great aunt's children (my dad's first cousins) have it.
another of my dad's cousins has it.
a first cousin had to have lumps surgically removed.
another first cousin died from cancer.

when i heard my sister's news the only thing i could say was: "shit! why is everybody getting lumps?"

maybe it's time for me to make that visit to the ob-gyn that i've been putting off for... well, my whole life pretty much.

unibersidad ng pilipinas
Posted at 05:50 PM

when people ask me about UP, the best answer i can give is:

everything you hear about it is true.

is it a site for recruitment into communist organizations? yep.
are the students becoming apathetic towards political events? yep.
are they pro-american? yep.
are they anti-american? yep.
do people really die during frat wars? uh huh.
are there drag beauty contests? most certainly.
does UP produce good graduates? yes it does.
does UP produce mediocre graduates? yes it does.
are the teachers in UP really strange? absolutely.

it's so wonderfully extreme. predictable in its unpredictability.

there are students who drive or get dropped off and picked up in jaguars. there are students who sleep in their tambayans and bathe in the school buildings to save their fare money so they can afford food and photocopying. there are students who fail classes because they can't afford the xerox and printing costs (sometimes as low as P500 a sem) and those who fail because they spend too much time partying in libis or wherever, they don't bother studying.

there are teachers who give grades on a lottery basis. draw lots. there are those who'll give no more than a three, and those who'll give no lower than a 1.5.

it's the school where the christian community marches behind the babaylan (the gay org) during the lantern parade. it's the one with two churches and over 30 religious student orgs. it's the one where naked frat men run around the a.s. building once a year.

another sem is about to begin. who knows what's going to happen? only thing i can count on is it's going to be a heck of a lot of work... and a heck of a lot of fun

childhood pleasures part 1
Posted at 06:26 PM

we were on a bread hunt.

for years i had been missing the bread that came from the little neighborhood bakeries. like that bread that looks like a hat, or the one with the red filling, or spanish bread.

"you want to look for bread?" joanna asked after a nice merienda of 3 boxes of fun shots and coleslaw (um that was just my share. but that's not what this post is about). since i am trying to gain weight, overeating is a good thing for me. and given my deep longing for sidewalk bread, i readily agreed.

so we drove around the neighborhood, peering hopefully into every store.

after a couple of turns, we passed this store that had telltale glass shelves. joanna gasped and pointed "ooh! ooh! there! there! turn! turn!" and i tried to maneuver the car while shaking with laughter, eyes tearing up.

still giggling i pulled up in front of the store only to find that the shelves contained junk food. not a crumb of bread in sight. "we turned for nothing!" we dissolved into gales of laughter, much to the annoyance, i'm sure, of the two men who were sitting right outside the store. how did it look to have a car pull up in front of you then have the passengers fall back in their seats laughing, then leave?

out to the main road and still nothing. "ok lang," i said. "we're bound to find one somewhere some other time." and we drove on.

then, after a few seconds of driving in silence...

"WAIT!!!" joanna screamed, holding out both hands partially blocking my view of the steering wheel and the road. i got so startled i let go of the wheel and clutched at my chest. but of course i couldn't notice if i were in the early stages of a heart attack because my tummy hurt from laughing.

when i got my bearings back, i looked at what she was pointing at. it was a bakery.

hoowa.

walked in and got a chunk of that bread with the red filling and a piece of spanish bread. paid P6 (prices sure have gone up) and walked out clutching the plastic bag that contained my loot.

"go ahead, bite!" i am urged, and so i bite. and that taste, that familiar and wonderful taste rushes through my palate. i grin widely.

"you're happy!"

i nod, still grinning. yeah, i'm happy



the next post on the topic of childhood pleasures will be about my grandmother who chewed tobacco. hehe.

a few production notes
Posted at 07:10 PM

everytime i think of the upcoming december show, i always feel a little surge of excitement these past two days though, the excitement is just one of the emotions i'm getting. there's a word for the other overriding sensation...

unprepared.

production work is always a juggling act, but right now it seems everything is up in the air. i don't have one single thing completely finalized. i've got a whole bunch of little details down, but nothing in the broad sweep.

but i'm not worried. ok, now and then i feel vaguely anxious. and now and then i get an outright panic attack. but in the general scheme, i'm fine.

it's part of the rush, really. not knowing til the thng is over if everything will actually go well. yeah, what a rush

and if i think my heart and my nerves are getting a beating now, i wonder what kind of punishment they're going to get when i sink my teeth into Superstar in january.

man, i can't wait

a dinner conversation
Posted at 08:25 PM

me: there's no top on this watermelon. (you know how it is with watermelon slices, the top corner or triangle is the sweetest.)

niece: i think that's the slice they take out to see if the watermelon is red.

sis: you mean they did that to this pineapple?

me: it's not a pineapple.

niece: i'm not sure.

me: i don't care why. there's no top. i want a slice with a top.

sis: so did they open up this pineapple?

me: it's... not... a... pineapple!

i love this song
Posted at 07:04 PM

one thing that marks my generation, i think, is sesame street. to this day i know most of the lyrics of the songs i used to hear every day as a kid. i heard this one recently. it's hard to describe the emotion i felt when i heard and saw it. so many things. too many things. it's not just a song. it's a chunk of my childhood.

Here in the middle of imagination
Right in the middle of my head,
I close my eyes and my home isn't home,
And my bed isn't really my bed.
I look inside and discover things,
That are sometimes strange and new,
And the most remarkable thoughts I think,
Have a way of being true.

Here in the middle of imagination
Right in the middle of my mind,
I close my eyes and the night isn't dark
And the things that I lose, I find.
Time stands still and the night is clear,
And the wind is warm and fair,
And the nicest place is the middle of imagination
When ... I'm ... there ...

some seriousness bubbling to the surface
Posted at 09:54 AM

the resiliency of the human spirit is a miraculous thing.

we, all of us, are walking wounded. it's amazing sometimes to think how we go through the day given all the grief and heartache and loss we've had to endure in our lives.

it's a terrible truth, the ease by which the soul is damaged. there is no way we can completely protect ourselves.

and yet, and yet...

we do live. we do rise. at times even soar above it all. there is a peculiar joy in knowing too the ease by which a human spirit can be soothed.

laughter, a meaningful conversation, an unexpected message in the day, a hug, an encouraging word.

all told, life isn't really swept by big tides. it's the small moments that shape our being. little things that we probably rarely notice as individual incidences.

life is frightening in its precariousness. we never know what will come. but it is also wonderfully beautiful precisely for that reason - because we never know what will come.

and then there are moments like these
Posted at 10:11 AM

"can you be the emcee?" my closest friend from high school, trixie, asked me to take care of facilitating the games. we were at the joint birthday party of her mother and her baby joaquin.

i looked over at diday, the one who actually had children - but she was busy looking after her own (maristela and diego, really cute kids who i'm sure will grow up to be heartbreakers).

"ok, i'll do it," i said quite willingly. i knew it would be fun. it's always fun to deal with kids as long as you can return them at some point.

"so what games should we have?" trixie asked.

"you mean you don't have the games yet?"

so we went with bring me (bring me what? ideas were thrown in: a family pic, a black sock, a strand of white hair), and the longest happy birthday, and guess the number of toy cars in the jar.

julio, trixie's older son, my godson, took the other mic and helped me with the games. went pretty well. had a couple of really competitive kids determined to win every prize and that always spices things up.

at the end of it, after every kid retired back to their tables happily clutching stuffed toys and matchboxes, julio went to his mom in tears.

"i have no prize!" he sobbed.

i knelt beside him and said, "hey! you should go get one, you helped me emcee and you did a really good job!"

and off he ran and returned holdling a matchbox package close to his chest. "look what i got!" he beamed. and all felt right with the world.

quick reviews
Posted at 07:16 PM

a few shows over the past couple of weeks...

The Incredibles - this was something i was really excited to see as soon as i saw the billboards. as early as 3 weeks before i was already booking a date to catch it in the theater. anticipation levels very high... which is always a dangerous thing.

this movie is quite a ride. towards the end it's tons of fun. technically quite awesome. i must admit though that Toy Story 1 & 2 and Finding Nemo, for me, are still the more memorable films.

don't get me wrong, i really enjoyed this one, it's just that i wasn't sure what to make of it. a lot of James Bond elements in there - the villainness who falls for the main man, E for the outfits (instead of Q for the gadgets), and of course the music. the music is classic Bond sound. then there's a bunch of comic book elements as well. a lot of fantastic four. and a smidgen of the silver surfer. then the story itself isn't much new. the watchmen dealt with something like this - especially the part about the fake monster.

so i wasn't sure whether to treat this as homage, spoof... but yeah, it was a heck of a ride.

Santa Santita - it's almost a surefire formula. script by Jerry Gracio, direction by Laurice Guillen. a cast that includes Johnny Delgado and Hilda Koronel. it was a really great surprise to see that one of the absolutely breathtaking elements of this film was its cinematography. excellent shots. excellent shots.

the ironic touches were very well done, not at all heavy handed, giving the whole thing more depth. pinoy melodrama was present of course. i don't think we should wish it away, especially since that is more mimetic. but the writer was able to avoid falling into cliche and that was a big relief. there was one element i felt a bit contrived towards the end - but that did nothing really to ruin the impact of this film. something certainly worth watching.

Isang Bagong Bituin - Philippine Ballet Theater's last offering for this season. Opened with a sequence of classical ballet which i must admit i am still trying to get a solid handle on. right now my appreciation of the strictly classical comes mostly from the fact that i know it's a lot of hard work (though this particular number was fun because of that double pirouette Joanna was able to get down with a triumphant smile on her face). the second segment, the pas de deux by Kit Sanchez and Ron Jaynario was a joy to watch. seeing these two, who have been dancing together for about 10 years now, one gets an idea of how it should be. technically clean, emotionally packed, and lots of fun. the show ended with a story set to the music of Willy Cruz which included one of my favorite songs which goes 'sana'y maghintay ang walang hanggang...' really good set design and stage movement. an enjoyable piece.

but what really made my jaw drop was Carmina Burana. hoowa. this premiered last year but i didn't catch it then. too bad. it's something i could watch over again. an awesome visual spectacle, troubling, beautiful. a narrative whose fragmentation works in conveying a cracked reality. most certainly one of the best things i've seen on stage. ever. the one thing that runs through my mind when i think of it is: if in my life i get to be part of a production like that one, i could die happy. totally, totally rocks.

i can see clearly now
Posted at 06:59 PM

finally using my computer's screen again

a wire went wonk about a month ago and i had to attach an external monitor. got the first one i could borrow. while i am really thankful for the use of it, that sure strained my eyes. it's only now that i fully appreciate my lcd.

now my machine is all fixed. thank goodness went through horrendous traffic to pick it up from the apple center in san juan. an hour and a half from katipunan to p. guevara. arrgghhh! this is the disadvantage: i can't just bring my machine to any pc repair shop, that and the fact that it cost about a week's salary to get it fixed. sigh.

but now that i'm typing this looking at my own lcd again - and that my eyes feel soooooo much better i realize that whatever hassle is to be had when piglet goes bonk is more than made up for when it's all working again

i will never write like this
Posted at 10:34 AM

it took me this long, but i finally discovered her. just read one book but she is now one of my writing goddesses (together with anne patchett). she is the writer i will never be.

when you come across the writing you can never do, you don't really praise or compliment. you don't analyze. you just fall in love... with the words and how they're put together.

this is the opening passage from 'Agnes of Iowa' by Lorrie Moore.

Her mother had given her the name Agnes, believing that a good-looking woman was even more striking when her name was a homely one. Her mother was named Cyrena, and was beautiful to match, but had always imagined her life would have been more interesting; that she herself would have had amore dramatic, arresting effect on the world and not ended up in Cassell, Iowa, if she had been named Enid or Hagar or Maude. And so she named her first daughter Agnes, and when Agnes turned out not to be attractive at all, but puffy and prone to a rash between her eyebrows, her hair a flat and bilious hue, her mother backpedaled and named her second daughter Linnea Elise...

Agnes herself had always been a bit at odds with her name. There was a period in her life, in her mid-twenties, when she had tried to pass it off as French - she had put in the accent grave adn encouraged people to call her "On-yez." This was when she was living in New York city, and often getting together with her cousin, a painter who took her to parties in TriBeCa lofts or at beach houses or at mansions on lakes upstate. She would meet a lot of not very bright rich people who found the pronunciation of her name intriguing. It was the rest of her they were unclear on.

cheers
Posted at 05:29 PM

next tuesday i'm going to get to do something i've always wanted to: tend bar.

three of us are setting up the bar during the annual writers' night and we'll be having beer (of course) and mixed drinks.

good things about being bartender: 1. it's fun; 2. get to make a little cash; 3. makes my 2 drink maximum all that much easier to stick to. can't drink when you're handing them out right? might start knocking things over.

so today i headed to the supermarket to buy 3 of the 4 basics - rhum, gin, and vodka. the price of tequila is a bit steep so have to rethink that one. went for gilbey's gin and noticed that they make vodka too. 90 proof. i did a double take. 90 proof?! geez. i could run my car on that.

i found out that when you walk around a supermarket with a basket full of nothing but booze, people look at you a bit funny. especially given that i was wearing a shirt that said "out of focus and bemused and i never know exactly where i am..." i should wear the same shirt when i head to the beer warehouse to pick up our 20 cases.